tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9976499392993560922024-03-13T02:14:32.785+00:00More than FishnetsKarenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15645254612709391871noreply@blogger.comBlogger42125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-997649939299356092.post-66475288883613257362020-09-13T09:54:00.005+01:002020-09-13T09:56:31.450+01:00Mature Student<div class="separator"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: center;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: left;"><span>Moodle, Doddle and Bear.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: left;"><span>Not a team of Dickensian accountants or the stars of a children’s
YouTube channel, but electronic platforms to aid learning and collaboration.</span><span> </span><span>Who knew?</span><span>
</span><span>I’ll tell you who didn’t know.</span><span>
</span><span>Me.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: left;"><span>Last time I was a fresher was 1996.</span><span> </span><span>Peter Andre had just knocked The Spice Girls from
number one, beer was £1 a pint and I’d have no sooner called a lecturer by
their first name than I would have admitted I didn’t really have a preference
between Blur and Oasis.</span><span> </span><span>(Just kidding.</span><span> </span><span>Blur.)</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: left;"><span>24 years later I am a fresher again and the experience is almost
unrecognisable.</span><span> </span><span>Covid-19 has put paid to
the hustle and bustle of registering and societies who once relied on piles of
freebies at a Freshers’ Fayre to entice excited newbies must now bag a Teams
slot.</span><span> </span><span>Friend-making has moved from the
SU bar to WhatsApp, requiring a mastery of strange new social protocols for
which I have not received a manual.</span><span> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span>When I was 19, going to university was a way of killing three
years before finally having to grow up.</span><span> </span><span>At
43, leaving behind a well-paid and secure job for four years has required a
great deal more consideration.</span><span> </span><span>As a
result I am approaching things a bit differently.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span>Scheduling a Trinitarian Theology lecture from 9-11 on a
Monday morning was never going to encourage full attendance.</span><span> </span><span>I managed the first half of it</span><a name="_Hlk50879208"> a few times—</a><span>before rolling my hungover self out at the
half-way break and back to my bed—before just accepting defeat and not even
bothering to show up.</span><span> </span><span>25% of my contact
hours which were sacrificed on the altar of student drinking.</span><span> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNyvZlJGTkpfQVIgFdL09Qu5V9bsBIGI9tUUrnlrMkjVc5se2atnUE_QX-GBcThADQ9aBmi4U82uak9Eftso-s7MFmCxrbEbS3bxHWYpHeFvUbPxsS99RZJfXp81XQH2hN1ta6nX8suuRB/s2048/pencil+case+etc.JPG" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="205" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNyvZlJGTkpfQVIgFdL09Qu5V9bsBIGI9tUUrnlrMkjVc5se2atnUE_QX-GBcThADQ9aBmi4U82uak9Eftso-s7MFmCxrbEbS3bxHWYpHeFvUbPxsS99RZJfXp81XQH2hN1ta6nX8suuRB/w154-h205/pencil+case+etc.JPG" width="154" /></a></div>Now, I’m planning to attend everything.<span> </span><span>And not just attend but use my beautiful new
stationery to make detailed and useful notes in order to study hard with the
aim of actually doing well, rather than simply scraping through.</span><span> </span><span>Adult me has a pride and determination which
teenage me would have found entirely unfathomable.</span><span> </span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span>Teenage me felt like a total outsider at university.</span><span> </span><span>I’d come from the countryside and had never
been clubbing.</span><span> </span><span>Everything I knew about ‘fashion’
had been gleaned from the swishy-haired sloanes at the private school I’d
needed a scholarship to get in to and translated not one jot to the streets of
Manchester.</span><span> </span><span>GCSEs and A levels had come
easily so I had no clue how to study and no one to ask.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span>Now I’m an outsider in a completely different way.</span><span> </span><span>I’m old.</span><span>
</span><span>I’m too deaf and hangover-intolerant to go clubbing even if I wanted to,
which I don’t.</span><span> </span><span>My current take on fashion
is ‘is it comfortable and do I like it?’</span><span>
</span><span>I’ve spent 19 years teaching kids how to learn so now it’s time to put
my money where my whiteboard is.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span>They say youth is wasted on the young.</span><span> </span><span>I’m not sure that’s true, but I know a
university education wasn’t a particularly efficient use of three of my young
years and lots of my parents’ money.</span><span> </span><span>The
next four years is my chance for a do-over and I am grabbing it.</span><span> </span><span>If anyone wants me, I’m the one at the front
of the class with the eager face and the highlighter pens.</span></p><br /></div>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15645254612709391871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-997649939299356092.post-8420085716507501722020-07-29T10:14:00.000+01:002020-07-29T10:14:00.103+01:00Cyclist<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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It all started to impress a boy. <o:p></o:p></div>
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At the age of 35 I was freshly divorced and somehow dating a man 9 years my junior, mega-fit and way out of my league. I was pretty keen to keep him distracted from these incompatibilities for as long as I could, so when he suggested we go for a bike ride I quickly agreed, not letting details like not owning a bike, or even having sat on one for the best part of two decades, get in the way. I grew up on my bike. It’s in my blood. How hard could it be? Surely it’s, well, like riding a bike?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Cycling was an integral part of my childhood. In my village primary school we all learned the rules of the road on the playground and did our Cycling Proficiency test together. With one bus every couple of hours through my village, cycling was the only way to have any kind of social life. One of my most memorable birthday presents was my old, shabby bike resprayed a shiny purple and I still have a scar on my chin from tearing round the garden on my wheeled mean-machine before flying over the rockery to execute a perfect, face-first landing onto a wheelbarrow. When I hit the big smoke for university, it wasn’t the people with different skin tones or accents that blew my rural mind; I couldn’t get over the fact that adults existed who couldn’t ride bikes.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Learning to drive and (thinking I was) becoming cool saw cycling locked up in the metaphorical shed. And there it remained for 20 years, until I needed to convince a gorgeous young man that I was totally fit and outdoorsy and could absolutely, definitely keep up with him.<o:p></o:p></div>
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It was spring when we first went riding together. Him in his full Lycra gear and expensive Trek lightweight road bike, me in tracksuit bottoms and a scraggy old t-shirt, riding his older model (there’s a joke in there about the age gap, but my Mum reads these so…). I was uncomfortable on a bike sized for a 6’ tall man, with no padding, but it was wonderful! We rode for about 15 miles and I was hooked.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Gradually we started going 20 miles, then 30 and more. It was a great activity to do together; we rode side by side and chatted, I slowly got brave enough to make our own little exhilarating peloton, and it was a constant source of amazement just how much snacking was as important as pedalling. I developed a renewed appreciation for the countryside – cycling’s surprisingly immersive as you can hear and smell everything you pass – and felt like I was living Wind in the Willows as the birds popped out of the hedgerows to fly alongside us.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Ebay provided a bike that actually fit and my Lycra collection expanded. This activity which had been enjoyable with none of the right gear was now something I actively looked forward to. I remembered the childhood freedom of the wind in my face and revelled in the sense of discovery which each new route brought.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7liIIGjUtqEII_59Iz7q_wXe92UD_XO5NKs62e_cULExXlgBD5EWoWLDz5R_QgL39nH3thpvUDzSqjtktm7tUpPBmsxwgapLCI8tJcHKSzCS9r7kFpXVxaP8DzAVeE1qlhnaWXrLQHY2t/s1600/IMG_1422.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7liIIGjUtqEII_59Iz7q_wXe92UD_XO5NKs62e_cULExXlgBD5EWoWLDz5R_QgL39nH3thpvUDzSqjtktm7tUpPBmsxwgapLCI8tJcHKSzCS9r7kFpXVxaP8DzAVeE1qlhnaWXrLQHY2t/s200/IMG_1422.JPG" width="200" /></a>For some ungodly reason, the fit young man wanted to bag an Alp, so we cycled to the top of Mont Ventoux, using Holme Moss as a warm up a few weeks before. Neither of these succeeded in killing me and my love for cycling grew. Since then I’ve cycled in triathlons up to half-Ironman distance and completed a 110 mile sportive event with my sister. I have three bikes and finally understand what a cycling guru friend of mine meant when he said that you can never have too many. I’ve even learned to love cycling clothes (so many pockets!!).<o:p></o:p></div>
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So if you’re thinking about taking up cycling – DO IT! Choose a pace, a route and a snack that suits you and just crack on. There is freedom, discovery and cake. If you get really lucky, there are handsome young men who eventually marry you. If not, there’s still cake.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15645254612709391871noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-997649939299356092.post-6141485436504000862020-07-03T19:26:00.000+01:002020-07-03T19:26:19.487+01:00Letting Myself Go"She's really let herself go," they whisper.<br />
<br />
Most people would be mortified to hear themselves described like this. Why? Letting go isn't a bad thing. Letting go is freeing and creative and should be encouraged.<br />
<br />
I'm going with the synonym of 'permitting oneself to proceed'.<br />
<br />
If letting myself go means proceeding to a life of comfort and simplicity, then count me in. If that's a life where instead of spending hours every five weeks undergoing self-inflicted chemical burns I can spend that time laughing or cooking or loafing, then why wouldn't I want to sign up?<br />
<br />
If it means proceeding to an existence where underwear doesn't have to reside in uncomfortably dark niches, but can be big and accommodating then that sounds fabulous.<br />
<br />
If a chocolate biscuit is a pleasure, not a half hour run and body hair is insulating, not disgusting then I am letting myself go right to that place.<br />
<br />
I am letting myself go all the way to a place where comfort frees us to be our best selves, not our best-looking selves. Who's with me?Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15645254612709391871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-997649939299356092.post-54416886417354045362013-08-11T14:38:00.001+01:002013-08-11T17:31:03.288+01:00Lone Traveller<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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My Biblical Archaeology lectures were illustrated by slides
of the lecturer at various ancient sites (an über-early adopter of the selfie?)
looking like a cross between Indiana Jones and Mr Bean. Not only was the subject fascinating but his slides made
this strange and historic land seem accessible and familiar. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Having been on several family holidays to Europe I decided,
at 19 full of the arrogance of youth, that I was amply qualified to toddle off
to Israel to check out these places for myself; no one would come with me so I
stubbornly decided to go on my own. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That was 17 years ago and the beginning of my solitary
travels. I am currently alone in
Malaysia and thought this would be a good time to provide some reflections on
travelling as an unaccompanied woman.
One of my pet peeves is people who imply that there are ‘right’ and
‘wrong’ ways to travel, so I am merely offering one perspective, based on my
own experiences. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
PROS<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Total freedom<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On that trip to Israel I visited the Western Wall approximately
six thousand times – I was absolutely mesmerised by everything about the
place. Not having to justify or explain
that decision to anyone, or forgo that experience to accommodate their desires,
is self-indulgence on a level that’s hard to get in real life.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Meeting people<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
An interesting one, this.
Personally, I am something of a misanthrope and am not really interested
in meeting people for the sake of meeting people. Small talk gives me the eye-rolls and most
people (myself included) are fantastically dull until you get to know them
properly (which rarely happens in a ‘travel’ scenario). That said, being alone makes you more
approachable and allows you to sort the companion wheat from the dreary chaff fairly
easily. I have met some amazing people
on my journeys who I would simply not have got to know so well if I had had
someone with me to dilute my (and their) attention.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Easier to squeeze in<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There’s often room for one more person on a tour / bus /
table where there wouldn’t be room for a couple. This can lead to…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Getting adopted<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have been adopted by trainee priests, expat families and
hotel staff, giving me access to experiences I would never have had
otherwise. This rarely happens to
couples (though does happen sometimes to single sex pairs) and I think is
particularly likely when you are a female alone – people often want to protect
and nurture you, which I’m fine with!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Superior people
watching opportunities<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One underrated advantage of having no one to talk to is that
no one knows what language you speak.
This opens up a whole new and wonderful world of eavesdropping on
monumentally unguarded conversations (just be aware of that when you're the one having the inappropriate chat and thinking no one can hear you!).<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
CONS<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Expensive<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Most hotels are charged per room rather than per
person. Since accommodation is one of
the biggest expenses when travelling (if you’re fussy, like me) this is a very
real issue. There’s no real way round
it if you're not prepared to share with strangers.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Loneliness<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sometimes it’s just nice to share stuff with someone. Evenings can be particularly difficult on
your own; you need to get comfortable with just a book or a notepad and pencil
for company. Modern technology is your
friend here; the invention of the smartphone since I started going away on my
own has removed a large part, though by no means all, of the loneliness factor.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, you’ve decided you can handle the occasional bouts of
loneliness and your bank manager has confirmed that you can afford not to share
accommodation; here are my top tips…<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Always carry something with which you can
reserve a seat – a cardigan you don’t need to wear or a book, something you can
live without if it gets pinched when unattended – it is incredibly frustrating
to have a prime spot in a café only to lose it when you need a wee.</li>
<li>Take pictures of maps or directions. If you feel vulnerable wandering round alone
with a map out – basically screaming ‘I’m a tourist!’ – use your camera or
‘phone to take a picture of it. That
way, you can be checking out where to go whilst looking like someone nonchalant
and local enough to be walking and texting.
Clearly, there are places where having your ‘phone out is ill advised,
but this works really well in lots of places.</li>
<li>Wear really dark glasses. For the people watching.</li>
<li>Take tours.
You’ll meet people whilst having a set time to get rid of them (at the
end of the tour) or carry on hanging out, as well as learning loads. When you travel with someone you discuss what
you’re seeing and hearing, which deepens the experience and is missing when you’re
solitary – a tour can fill this gap.</li>
<li>Don’t bother with a fake wedding ring. I’ve seen advice that says wearing a wedding
ring will minimise hassle. It won’t. Knobheads will be knobheads – the kind of guy
who’s going to hassle a woman on her own is not the kind of guy who’s going to
think ‘oooh, she’s wearing a wedding
ring, I’d better leave her alone out of respect for the ancient and venerated
institute of marriage’. Sadly, in many
countries, hassle is what you will get (and this doesn’t just happen when you’re
alone or when you have a vagina, it’s just a frustrating part of being a
visitor in some parts of the world).</li>
<li>Enjoy yourself!
Make the most of the freedom and pack something to cheer yourself up if
you feel a bit blue (personally, I like some good undies and some fancy shower
gel, but each to their own).</li>
</ul>
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<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">In the interests of full disclosure, I should add that I prefer travelling with a
good companion than without one but that's not always possible. Lone
travel is, for me, always going to be preferable to no travel.</span></div>
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<span style="text-indent: -18pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">I'll finish with a small selection of things I would never have seen if I refused to go away without a friend as a comfort blanket.</span></div>
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Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15645254612709391871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-997649939299356092.post-48615796993617959672013-03-23T22:37:00.001+00:002013-03-24T08:39:31.095+00:00Horrible Housemate<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Sharing is not a strength of mine. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Fleeing the marital home meant making a jump from financing
0.5 to 1.2 households. As a woman used
to living to the limits of her means, this was going to involve some major
lifestyle changes; keen to minimise these, I briefly considered renting a room
in a shared house.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Briefly.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Then I remembered the previous times I’d shared houses with
people who were not bound by matrimonial vows to put up with me and decided
that it wasn’t fair on anyone to pursue that option.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As an undergraduate, I shared accommodation for three
years. Whilst I dearly loved many of the
people I cohabited with (indeed, fourteen years after graduating, I still count
three of them amongst my absolute dearest friends) I never particularly enjoyed
communal living. It’s not that I don’t
enjoy company – when the wind is blowing in the right direction, there’s
nothing I like more than hanging out with my nearest and dearest – it’s just
that I like solitude too.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On the recommendation of those who’d trod the path before
me, I spent my first year at The University of Manchester living in Owen’s Park
– the largest of the halls of residence.
Somehow, I ended up as the only first year on a corridor of third years,
sandwiched between an Italian dentistry student and another girl I only
remember as being big and geeky. Right
now, I imagine there are some very lucky Italians getting their oral hygiene
attended to by a beautiful woman in her late thirties. Sixteen years ago however, she was just a stunning student with a steady stream of
European suitors who, disappointed with northern England’s female offerings,
were content to sit in her room all night and remain sexually unfulfilled while
listening to loud europop. They also had
to deal with me knocking on the door every hour or so, apologetically asking
for the music to be turned down. I could
see them turn to her for guidance as to how to respond – do we laugh in the
face of the quiet, nerdy young girl from next door in a bollock-waving display
of masculine dominance, or do we politely and considerately acquiesce to her
request in an attempt to showcase our maturity and new-manliness? Either way, it didn’t win me any friends.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSz7h_r4bK0FAKc6G-bYXMOh9sNvEY-cFTS5dXWBxniy6UYtbk-QXKpjH7lcn52PFNlazK3zXPhkfpZbU2upCEvo9G8hHi7_LCrZDhhRQ7khduNSWA7iD9fXSjvzrIfeDA_LqM8f_ZN7M_/s1600/255+Yew+Tree.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSz7h_r4bK0FAKc6G-bYXMOh9sNvEY-cFTS5dXWBxniy6UYtbk-QXKpjH7lcn52PFNlazK3zXPhkfpZbU2upCEvo9G8hHi7_LCrZDhhRQ7khduNSWA7iD9fXSjvzrIfeDA_LqM8f_ZN7M_/s1600/255+Yew+Tree.jpeg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The housemates of 1 Latchmere Road</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Second year was spent in a mould-filled house with five
other people, one bathroom and a shoebox-sized kitchen. I was the asshole who was never happy. Why couldn’t people wash up their crap after
they’d used it? Why did they feel it
necessary to share their shitty music tastes with me? All night?
Why did the door have to be slammed?
It was unlucky for everyone that the room-allocation process plonked me
in the ground-floor bedroom between the front door and the living room. As the least social member of the household,
giving me the room which everyone had to walk past when they got in late at
night was a bad idea. With hindsight, it
would have made sense to stick me in the attic.
It didn’t help that I was exceptionally uncool and sharing a house with
a bunch of people who were into the kind of lifestyle that necessitated coming
home at 4am on drugs which made them noisy.
It also didn’t help that I was incapable of putting up with this without
coming over all snotty and uppity.
Either way, 4/5 of those housemates realised they couldn’t stand living
with me, so when the time came to look for accommodation for the third year,
only Lucy came with me.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCkP78iZiAoSlU7SdL22I6Q-8idHxFsnDvFbh987vfGPnNS4AeICdLydW8g1QXkHIFII4wz100g6OSVMEj6eGnqh_njPRUzknQLPlzQojpsLWW9Wu-8LK5flazhaWKr9QWr_NkggIvRWu5/s1600/255+Yew+Tree+1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCkP78iZiAoSlU7SdL22I6Q-8idHxFsnDvFbh987vfGPnNS4AeICdLydW8g1QXkHIFII4wz100g6OSVMEj6eGnqh_njPRUzknQLPlzQojpsLWW9Wu-8LK5flazhaWKr9QWr_NkggIvRWu5/s1600/255+Yew+Tree+1.jpeg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The ladies of 255 Yew Tree Road</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
255 Yew Tree Road was a beautiful house. Four of us lived there during our third year
and I imagine that the reason I am still close to all of them is because I was
rarely there. I met my future husband at
the end of my second year of university and spent half of my third year at his
house, meaning my uncanny ability to piss off everybody with whom I live was
diluted by half. Hurrah! Clearly the way to keep my friends was
to not live with them – I am only a nice person to be around when I have chosen
to be in company. I am not good enough
at the social dance to follow the steps when I’m not feeling the music.<o:p></o:p></div>
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My long-suffering ex-husband lived with me for thirteen
years. During that time he was berated
for just about everything. I need my
home to be a place of safety, sanctuary and stability so if he so much as
changed a door handle without telling me first he was in trouble. Toothpaste and stubble in the sink? Big-time bollocking. Recyclables put in the normal bin? Unforgiveable. Dirty crockery left on the side rather than
put in the dishwasher? Banshee-level
outcry. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I don’t mean to be a difficult housemate. I consider myself to be thoughtful and
reasonable though I guess my cohabitants thought the same about
themselves. Currently, my tiny house is
shared with a cat. So far, she’s not
showing signs of wanting to leave. We’ve
only been here a year though; it’s early days…<o:p></o:p></div>
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Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15645254612709391871noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-997649939299356092.post-59433682274509116942013-03-13T21:57:00.003+00:002013-03-14T10:18:18.091+00:00Single Dweller<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUZVhAzepVFVZIQpGDcFQJ3SEdYnbNOxFCUTpgeAQRFUoecih9pb37337jkEFMiZ5tpJMDYG13a1_CETy_584-33gs7_e4Sdo_wldLO2Oi8m3Y3EXbDX9yioVWLs5t9q1WBbNN2DTaH0sd/s1600/IMG_0442.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUZVhAzepVFVZIQpGDcFQJ3SEdYnbNOxFCUTpgeAQRFUoecih9pb37337jkEFMiZ5tpJMDYG13a1_CETy_584-33gs7_e4Sdo_wldLO2Oi8m3Y3EXbDX9yioVWLs5t9q1WBbNN2DTaH0sd/s320/IMG_0442.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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Invisible from the road, my house is reached by a single-track private road off a single-track public road on the outskirts of a single road village which no one’s ever heard of. It’s three miles from the nearest pint (of either beer or milk) and about an hour’s drive from the nearest motorway. During spring and summer it’s like living in Disneyland; as I come home I am accompanied up the driveway by partridges, hares and squirrels and I often share my space with swooping barn owls and circling raptors. In short, it was the perfect place to flee to twelve months ago to lick my wounds and recover from the break-up of my marriage.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Whilst I knew I would appreciate freedom, I hadn’t entirely realised the many forms that freedom takes, or how much joy there would be in the simplest of them. <o:p></o:p></div>
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If I want cereal for dinner, I’ll damn well have cereal for dinner. And if I want to cook a massive stew and eat it every day, then that’s fine too. Washing up been sitting there for a few days? So what? There’s no one to blame but myself, and somehow, when it’s only my mess, it doesn’t bother me in the slightest.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Invitations can be accepted or declined without giving any consideration to anyone else’s social responsibilities or desires. Stay out every night for a week or lock myself in with a bottle of wine and a cheesy rom-com? Not only do I get to make that decision, but I get to make it at two minutes’ notice. <o:p></o:p></div>
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My books on the shelf, my knickers on the floor, my wine in the cupboard – being in control of one’s own surroundings is like building a hug you can live in. Add an open fire and a year without discovering a single odd sock and suddenly you’re swaddled in an all-enveloping embrace from a favourite, fragrant, buxom, childless aunty that you haven’t seen for years.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Obviously it’s not all red wine and daffodils. It took me a couple of months to develop an effective way of folding fitted sheets, and I am too short to vacuum the spiders’ webs out of the top of the stairwell, but all in all it’s been a much needed year of breathing space. It’s been a year which has allowed me to experience these freedoms and realise that I don’t want them forever – they come at too high a price to be a long term indulgence. Is going straight from work to the pub without having to make a quick ‘phone call first worth a lifetime of having to nurse my own hangovers? Probably not. Is a ‘Step Up’ trilogy marathon three nights in a row worth never again smiling as I glance at a nicknack which evokes shared memories? Almost certainly not. Is the pleasure of eating a bowl of Shreddies whilst my knickers languish on the floor worth the sacrifice of not regularly waking up next to someone who loves me? Definitely not.<br />
<o:p></o:p></div>
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Disneyland may be magical, but magic must be shared to be fully enjoyed.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtBgJNH6tGCebO3kwN7SKJEnrFWt0k7UQdO3DGEz6HqHCpEvFlASTQh9i5DF7mto4UCeGO2NTP_6h-nhAkGz6t4PcuHyzPNfjA26mz8QaiVGBaPekFPXStT23WEH0QqLfzlzBlzxOfDEiB/s1600/IMG_1162.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtBgJNH6tGCebO3kwN7SKJEnrFWt0k7UQdO3DGEz6HqHCpEvFlASTQh9i5DF7mto4UCeGO2NTP_6h-nhAkGz6t4PcuHyzPNfjA26mz8QaiVGBaPekFPXStT23WEH0QqLfzlzBlzxOfDEiB/s320/IMG_1162.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15645254612709391871noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-997649939299356092.post-89350276450571474282013-02-03T20:16:00.000+00:002013-02-03T20:16:31.522+00:00Strong<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
On March 24<sup>th</sup> I will be attempting to run just
over 13 miles on forest trails for no reason other than bloody mindedness; I
didn’t think I could do it so now I have to prove myself wrong. Twisted, I know. The upshot of such recklessness is that I
have been training pretty hard in an attempt not to embarrass myself on the
day.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the last few days, several people have assumed that I am
exercising regularly because I want to lose weight. I comfortably fit into size 12 clothes –
below the national average size of 14/16 – and am a healthy weight for my
height, with a BMI in the normal range; why would I want to lose weight? I am strong and supple with a wonderful
wardrobe that I’d hate (and can’t afford) to shrink out of. Sure, I wobble, and there are bits of me that
aren’t as perky as they used to be, but that would still be the case if I were
smaller, I’d just be colder and less well dressed.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If intelligent grown-ups are still buying in to the idea
that women should be trying to be thinner then what hope is there for young
girls? How can we show them that healthy
and strong is what matters? The Olympics
helped but there’s more to be done. The
average person in this country is overweight so I suppose it’s reasonable to
assume that most people should be trying to lose some poundage, but when
skinniness alone is the goal, it is often achieved (or not) at the expense of
health.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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One of the things that I love about roller derby is that
there is a place on the team for anyone who is fit enough and dedicated enough
to earn it. The teeny blocks of solid
muscle who don’t present a spare inch to hit; the long, lithe girls who pass
you with one slippery step; the powerhouses of unshiftable mass who are speedy
and nimble enough to always be in the way – a group of roller girls is like a
campaign poster for all the different ways that strong and healthy can manifest
itself. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I’ve been fat and unhealthy.
I’ve been slim and unhealthy.
Being strong brings confidence and happiness. Busting out a hand clap push up makes me
ridiculously proud, as does knowing that I am in control of my body, it isn’t
in control of me. Come the 24<sup>th</sup>
March I will run that half marathon with my super fit friend and I will not let
her or myself down. She’ll beat me, but
that’s fine; my competition is with myself.
Physical strength and mental strength feed off each other and this
spiral can serve to strengthen or weaken – take control of the direction yours
is going in. Be strong.<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment--></div>
Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15645254612709391871noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-997649939299356092.post-45860539404101014342013-01-23T21:56:00.001+00:002013-01-23T21:56:43.687+00:00Overthinker<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You think too much.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve been on the receiving end of this observation since I
was about 13 years old.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Back then, I didn’t understand why people were saying this
to me with varying degrees of pity, confusion and exasperation; surely thinking
a lot was a good thing? My diaries from
the time are a never ending saga of introspection and dwelling, with occasional
bouts of self-loathing thrown in just to break the monotony. I second guessed my friends and enemies,
analysing every tortured twist and traumatic turn in our dysfunctional circle
until I drove myself insane. I assumed
that everyone did the same.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A particularly prolonged period of inner wrestling almost
saw me drop out of university. I simply
couldn’t see what the point was in writing essays about what other people had
already written. Discovering that my
romanticised ideal of three years of stimulating and earnest academic
discussion where fresh insights on old issues elicited approving and admiring
nods from bearded professors before we merry students retired to the bar to get
drunk and have experimental and fabulous sex was but a pipe dream, I became
slightly disillusioned. The reality of
mostly dull lectures delivered by academics who neither knew nor cared what I
thought and judged my understanding based on a 2000 word essay summarising what
everyone before me thought, followed by retiring to the bar to get drunk and
have disappointing and vanilla fumbles was unfulfilling to say the least. While my peers just got on with enjoying
themselves, I was unable to stop questioning everything about the process.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Profundity is often sought but rarely achieved by those
seeking to dish it out, but Professor Brooke was (probably still is) one of
those people who never wasted a word. In
1998 he said something to me which has since often provided a key with which I
can unlock myself from destructive cycles of overthinking. “Sometimes, Karen,” he said, “You just have
to play the game.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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This new way of looking at the world was a revelation! It gave me permission to occasionally stop
trying to ‘understand’ everything and everyone and to just go along with the
world around me as it appeared on the surface.
Clearly I was not cured of my excessively analytical nature but I felt
like I’d been given something to control the condition.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fast forward to today and six months of immersion in the
world of dating has led to a massive relapse.
‘Playing the game’ doesn’t work when you’re trying to work out why he
hasn’t texted or what the exact significance is of how many times he’s written
‘x’ at the end of a message or what it is about you that’s putting everyone
off. What even <i>is </i>‘the game’ when it comes to dating more than one person or
deciding when it’s time to put a label on the situation and if so, which
one? I never appreciated how far a
stable relationship had pushed this side of my personality into dormancy or how
all-consuming the analysis monster would be when she grew full size.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My old ‘play the game’ medicine doesn’t work on this new strain
of overthinking; I suspect because the condition has changed and is now
augmented by a deficiency in self-worth and a lack of understanding of the new
symptoms. The only solution is to try
new cures. Distraction works but is
tiring; the same goes for getting in shape.
Surrounding oneself with friends is always a winner, but after a while a
resistance builds up as they, understandably, become fed up with such constant navel-gazing. Wine absolutely has its place, but it is contraindicated
with the aforementioned treatments, rendering it best reserved for serious
attacks.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ultimately, acceptance is the only way forward. Acceptance of oneself, the situation and the ever-changing
nature of the world. Acceptance that
nothing stays the same, good or bad, and that there really is some truth in the
idea that what doesn’t destroy us makes us stronger. Acceptance that whilst being overly
analytical and pondering can lead to dark and twisted places, it can also lead
to self-understanding and wisdom and that, either way, if that is who you are,
then that is who you are. Someone will
love it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment--></div>
Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15645254612709391871noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-997649939299356092.post-55073194654068893762013-01-02T20:03:00.001+00:002013-01-02T20:03:54.107+00:00Fantasy Headteacher<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Since New Year’s Resolutions are doomed to failure, I’ve
decided instead to consider what I might do if I were someone else. School starts again next week and I find
myself thinking what I might do if I were a secondary school headteacher. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b>1.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-weight: normal;">
</span></b><!--[endif]--><b>Before
making any decision, ask myself ‘will this help the students to learn?’<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Too much of what happens in school is done to please OFSTED
and parents. Almost all of my other
resolutions are the immediate result of instead focussing my attentions on
helping students to learn. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I understand that it is necessary to judge schools and hold
them accountable, but the current system necessarily focuses on what is easily
measurable as opposed to what actually matters.
I wish I could offer a solution, but I can’t – my only suggestion is
that all headteachers refuse to play this stupid game and instead focus on
doing what they know is right. (I
realise this is never going to happen, sadly.)
If every school did this, OFSTED would be forced to develop an inspection
regime that did schools justice and the tail could stop wagging the dog.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b>2.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-weight: normal;">
</span></b><!--[endif]--><b>Remove
the focus from exams<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Much more easily said than done, this one. However there are ways to accomplish it and
good reasons for striving to do so.
Resits would be allowed in my school but parents would be billed for
both the exam entry fee and any extra after school support provided. We wouldn’t even discuss target or predicted
grade in the first year of any course of two years or longer. Meaningful courses with no resulting formal
qualifications would be provided and professionally taught.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m not suggesting that passing exams is unimportant, just
that we seem to have lost sight of learning for learning’s sake.<b> <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b>3.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-weight: normal;">
</span></b><!--[endif]--><b>Ban
homework<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Homework is set because parents expect it and because it is
easy to monitor. It is often
educationally pointless or worse, counter-productive. I would remove any notion of a ‘homework
timetable’ and allow teachers to decide whether it is relevant or necessary to
set homework at a given time. Poor
quality homework tasks encourage a negative attitude from students and arguments
at home. We perpetuate the unhealthy
notion that the working day does not stop upon leaving the workplace and
unfairly disadvantage students from less academic households.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is not to say that I would be encouraging students not
to seek learning opportunities outside school.
A bank of inspirational, optional projects, combined with support for
parents in how to develop a love of learning at home would complement the ethos
of my school regarding learning being about more than just passing exams. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b>4.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-weight: normal;">
</span></b><!--[endif]--><b>Allow
failure<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Life includes failures.
Learning to handle these and move on from them is a life skill. When we allow a student to hand in vital work
after the deadline, or clutch at straws to find something, anything, good to
say about a shoddy and lazy piece of work, or enter them for their third resit
without demanding some change in effort or attitude we are doing them no long
term favours. When we correct their work
for them, rather than insisting they work out where they went wrong, when we
give them rewards for simply doing what is expected, when we lie on their
university references we are just passing on problems to the next teacher,
professor or employer who has to work with them. Allow failure, catch them, support them in
their quest to avoid it again.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These ideas are all impractical, for one reason or another,
which is one of many reasons I shall never seek to be a real headteacher. In reality, headteachers have a ridiculous
variety of conflicting stakeholders to try to satisfy. Most of them entered the profession to teach
in the classroom, not to sit in an office balancing multi-million pound budgets
whilst being pulled in a dozen different directions by department heads, governors,
parents, pupils, the Council, the Government and the local community. They do a mostly thankless job, mostly very
well – it’s too easy to forget this and we shouldn’t. Here’s to the headteachers.<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment--></div>
Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15645254612709391871noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-997649939299356092.post-63107394023637560422012-12-31T15:45:00.003+00:002012-12-31T16:52:47.226+00:00Reviewing<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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In January, I shared my New Year’s Resolutions. As 2012 draws to a close, I feel it only fair
to honestly review them.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b>1.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-weight: normal;">
</span></b><!--[endif]--><b>Relearn
to focus.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Getting there. I
still watch television with the laptop and/or ‘phone close by but I have become
much better at not turning the television on at all and with the odd show I
really like the computer gets a definite back seat. As I become a student again in February I
really need to continue working on this.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
5/10<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b>2.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-weight: normal;">
</span></b><!--[endif]--><b>Be a
better friend.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A horrific failure on this one. When I wrote these resolutions, I hoped my
marriage was reparable. It turned out
that it wasn’t. The echoes of this have
spread through every facet of my life and reverberate into the most obscure
corner. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In a (largely unsuccessful) attempt not to bore everyone to
death with how miserable this year’s been I have kept a lot of the darkness
inside. One of the results of this is
that there’s not a lot of room left for other people and their lives. This has led to me being a lousy friend,
though also an incredibly grateful one.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-2/10<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b>3.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-weight: normal;">
</span></b><!--[endif]--><b>Be
able to turn stop in both directions.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have practised and practised and practised and all I can
do is resolve to practise more in 2013.
I WILL nail this. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
0/10<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b>4.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-weight: normal;">
</span></b><!--[endif]--><b>Explore
different ways of making a living.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Started this. Didn’t
get anywhere. Anyone want to pay me for
being me? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1/10<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b>5.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-weight: normal;">
</span></b><!--[endif]--><b>Stop
being the drunkest person in the room.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Achieved this on a technicality by hanging around with a lot
of very drunk people, rather than by drinking less myself. Result.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
10/10<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b>6.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-weight: normal;">
</span></b><!--[endif]--><b>Get
happy.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Definite progress here – I’m certainly much happier than I
was at this time last year. I have a
wonderful bunch of friends, for whom I’m very grateful, an amazingly generous
and thoughtful family, a great job, a lovely house, my health and (almost) my
freedom. Short of a lottery win or Johnny
Depp realising he’s completely in love with me, I’m not sure how things could
get much better. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
9/10<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
According to a survey, 92% of New Year’s resolutions are not
kept, so I’d say that my score of 23/60 is not bad at all. How did you do?<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment--></div>
Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15645254612709391871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-997649939299356092.post-12298573726366725792012-12-27T19:17:00.001+00:002012-12-27T19:17:55.184+00:00Lonely This Christmas?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
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2012 was the year my marriage became irretrievable. I found myself single for the first time in
nearly 14 years and it was tremendous.
The freedom to be entirely self-centred in my own way in my own space
was joyous. I revelled in the silence of
my own home and the cocooning effect of being surrounded entirely by my own
stuff.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After a while, however, I began to miss the intimacy and
affection that comes with having a boyfriend, as well as just having someone to
hang out with, so I started to dip my toe into the treacherous waters of dating
as an adult. It has not been a success.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
First there was The Colleague. A school trip to Spain working with a guy I had
always shared a mutual attraction with, fuelled by sun, sand and senselessness,
led to a romance of sorts. On our
return, failure to communicate properly meant that weeks of flirting was only
made flesh a couple of times before he suddenly and inexplicably went mute (a
male habit I was to experience several more times this year) over the summer
holidays.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Unbowed there was then The Barman’s Friend. It was with this guy that I experienced for
the first time the strange phenomenon of ‘phantom dating’. This is when a date is arranged, only to be
cancelled at the last minute; in hindsight it is clear that the male in
question never actually intended this date to happen. Why organise it? We’d only been out once before - really, he
wouldn’t have broken my heart if he’d just said that actually, he didn’t think
I was his cup of tea. He even led on the
arrangement of another phantom date, only to cancel once again a few hours
before kick off. A layer of sudden,
inexplicable muteness on top of the two phantom dates and another one bit the
dust.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bank Holiday weekend brought The Hippy into my life. Beautiful, sweet and interesting, this one
goes straight to the top of the ‘I would let my friend date them’ pile for
being not only beautiful but the only one to actually have the cojones to tell
me that he didn’t think it was going anywhere and therefore we shouldn’t waste
our time. I completely agreed with him
(though I would have wasted a bit more time – did I mention he was beautiful?)
so we parted happily.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Colleague decided this would be a good time to start
pursuing me again. Two phantom dates and
a sudden, inexplicable muteness later and he’s back with his ex. They’re welcome to each other.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Next came Twinners.
Instant mutual attraction, physical and mental, led to weeks of flirting
before a proper meet up. One lovely day
followed by complete rejection and sudden, inexplicable muteness. See the pattern yet?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
With my self-esteem in tatters, I finally met someone who I
could reject before they rejected me!
What a hideous world where this seems like a good thing. Red was a good-looking, nice guy, but his
grammar was terrible and he had annoying eyebrows. Game over, I’m afraid.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dating disasters of 2012 finished with Beardy. A breakfast date that lasted all day with
texts that evening and a second date planned for the next day all combined to
make it appear that the tides were turning in my favour. But no.
Stood up. Merry bloody Christmas.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Logically, I should now be swearing off dating for
good. The evidence suggests there’s
something fundamentally undateable about me, but I say screw the evidence! I love that feeling of flirting with someone
new, of getting excited when the ‘phone makes its text message sound, of going
over and over every word they’ve said in your head. If boys knew the extent to which I dwell on
every possible version of our future together, having only known them five
minutes, they’d be terrified, but it comes from a place of hope and
indefatigable romanticism, not psychosis.
Not all women want to stop you seeing your friends and control your
life. Some women want to be with you in
order that both your lives can be enriched and enhanced. Some women really do want a partner, not a
browbeaten shelf-fixer.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
James Dyson said of his vacuum cleaner, “I made 5,127
prototypes of my vaccum before I got it right. There were 5,126 failures. But I
learned from each one. That’s how I came up with a solution. So I don’t mind
failure.” I’m not quite at 5,126 failed
dates yet, but I have learned to move on from the sudden, inexplicable muteness
much more quickly rather than clinging on to some hope that it will pass. I have learned that after one phantom date,
he’d better do some serious ass-kissing to get a second. I have learned that very few men are brave
enough to actually say what they feel; I don’t know whether this is arrogance
that they think I’ll be devastated or cowardice that they think I’ll be
horrible to them, in reality neither of these things will probably happen, I’ll
just be grateful not to have any more of my time wasted and move on. Most of all, I have learned that when you
have the right person, you should hold on to them with all your might. James Dyson may have moved on from failure
5,126 times but he was also smart enough to stop at 5,127 and not tinker with
what worked.<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment--></div>
Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15645254612709391871noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-997649939299356092.post-30148848285759225192012-11-21T15:27:00.001+00:002012-11-21T15:27:56.399+00:00Bitch?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span lang="EN-US">“Who is that obnoxious woman?” In an unguarded (beer-fuelled) moment, an
acquaintance of about a fortnight revealed that this was their first impression
of me. Ouch. Obviously I chuckled and pretended that I was
able to take the comment in the spirit of friendship in which it was given, but
man, that smarted.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">We all know that first impressions count; I check my
teeth for greenery before a job interview and generally try not to leave the
house with food down my front. These
physical things are fairly easily managed, but is it possible to control the
impression our personality makes quite as closely? Should we?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">In first encounters with new people it is impossible,
and probably undesirable, to reveal the full complexity of one’s character; we
present a two-dimensional caricature which will be fleshed out as and if the
relationship continues. What you see
will depend on the context of our meeting and what we both want from it. If we’re meeting as professionals, I’ll want
you to think I’m competent, fairly serious and reliable – at this point it’s
not necessary for you to know about my bacon addiction and propensity to down
Sambuca like it’s the end of the world.
If I fancy you, I’ll be striving (probably unsuccessfully) to come
across as witty, intelligent and slightly frisky so I’ll try not to bore you
with my views on our education system.
If I’m drunk, I’ll think I’m hilarious and you’ll think I’m an
idiot. The fact remains, however, that I
AM all these things; competent, fairly serious about my job, reliable, witty,
intelligent, slightly frisky and often an idiot. There’s no acting or fakery going on here,
just different facets of Karen being allowed to sneak through the armour first.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">One of the many joys of growing older is realising
that we cannot, and should not, be all things to all people. Chances are that if you think I’m obnoxious I
probably have a similar opinion of you, and on a planet of 7 billion people
that’s absolutely fine, there are others for us both to get along with. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Am I a bitch because I won’t pretend to be something I’m
not? Because I won’t pretend to agree
with you or find your offensive views funny?
Because I speak as I find and tell it how it is? Fine.
Woof. But the thing about bitches
is that they may be scary when they snarl and are handled incorrectly but when
you understand them fully they are rewarding, affectionate and fun to be
around. Just don’t try to tickle my
tummy until we’re fully acquainted.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment--></div>
Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15645254612709391871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-997649939299356092.post-35193726788899250432012-09-02T17:55:00.000+01:002012-09-02T17:55:00.076+01:00Wishing<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYVpPsR1kudytUYZgb9VBC-L_1OGAJZ5nGxqF67zY-qvXhrY6r9VjL5ha7tTkWtv5rfKwmYwmOkKCK94akv7ubBZ6pfeHuWxZc4Id4R0pZwjSeeNTyt4WTJynSYElJGRVGhmlDlVdDkqfm/s1600/IMG_1159.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYVpPsR1kudytUYZgb9VBC-L_1OGAJZ5nGxqF67zY-qvXhrY6r9VjL5ha7tTkWtv5rfKwmYwmOkKCK94akv7ubBZ6pfeHuWxZc4Id4R0pZwjSeeNTyt4WTJynSYElJGRVGhmlDlVdDkqfm/s320/IMG_1159.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Clearing out my filing cabinet recently, I came across this
list that I wrote and promptly forgot about in 2001, entitled simply ‘WISHES’. In case you can’t read my handwriting, here
they are (faithfully transcribed – dreadful grammar included).<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Live on small island – samos / jersey / sing. etc.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Own boat.<o:p></o:p></div>
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See northern lights.
(or southern lights).<o:p></o:p></div>
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Travel 1<sup>st</sup> class.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Eat massaged cow.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Have uplift.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Lose 4 stone.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Three of these things have inadvertently been crossed off
and I’m still fairly keen on achieving the other four, at least for a while. I like to think I’ve grown and developed in
the last 11 years but it turns out that I’m still fundamentally the same
person; I’m not sure quite how to feel about this.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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What would I add if I wrote the same list now? Well, these past wishes seem to neatly fall
into categories, each representing a specific desire in a general area of life.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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First is the ‘where to live’ wish. All my life I’ve wanted to live somewhere
with a sweeping view. Living in a field
on a slight rise I have this one nailed.
The only way to improve it would be to have some water in my eye line;
the sea, a river or a lake would add an extra dimension to the vastness of
green stretching in every direction from my home.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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‘Stuff to own’ comes next.
I wouldn’t say no to a boat, obviously, but actually on a list of wishes
this is the only one where I’ve really nothing to add – I have everything I
need already. If it were ‘stuff to have’
then honesty forces me to admit that I’d like someone to share it with, though
is that something I <i>wish</i> for with the
associated sense of pining and longing?
Not really. Not yet.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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‘Things to see / places to go’ is the section that I could
fill pages with; South America, Great Barrier Reef, Great Wall of China, New
Zealand, Vietnam, a desert island paradise, West Africa, Alaska, the list goes
on, and on, and on… A shorter one would
be places I have no desire to go; Casablanca (HATED it). End of list.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Travelling 1<sup>st</sup> class is one that I have
technically achieved, though Virgin Trains form Manchester to London isn’t
really what I was thinking of when this was added, so this one can stay exactly
as it is. I can’t envisage a time or
situation in which this will ever be possible, so it stays. I am ever wishful.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Kobe beef was an anti-climax when I finally got the
opportunity to try it (though this is possibly because it will have been fake –
I’d love to try it in Japan). Delicious,
don’t get me wrong, but three times as delicious as the other steaks on the
menu? Nope. So what ‘thing to eat’ would take its place
on the wish list 2012? Anything someone
else has cooked for me because they love me and they think I’ll love it. I don’t care if that sounds like a bit of a
cop out – I am pretty much in a position to buy whatever I fancy to eat so it’s
the intangible part of the eating experience which becomes sought after.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The last two are both to do with how I look, and it’s pretty
representative of my priorities at 24 that this section gets double the wishes
of the others. It’s pretty
representative of my acceptance of ageing that if I had to fill this slot on a
wish list now it’s be something totally unattainable like having hair that
doesn’t go grey or a self-maintaining bikini line.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s interesting to me that there’s nothing on my list about
my career – I was days away from starting my teacher training when I wrote
this, so I guess I thought I had it all wrapped up. I’m still teaching, so my 24 year old self
was probably right not to waste a wish on that one. There’s also nothing about relationships – I was
two years into what would turn out to be a 13 year relationship so didn’t think
that area needed help either.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I guess the message is that whilst things may change on the
surface, core values don’t migrate much from where our adult moral compass
deposits them. I wonder if I’ll still
feel the same as I ride my boat to my island?<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment--></div>
Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15645254612709391871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-997649939299356092.post-60568118174274227882012-08-23T17:49:00.001+01:002012-08-23T17:49:27.368+01:00Private School Girl<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I blame Enid Blyton.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>As a child I devoured her books, becoming particularly enchanted by the
boarding school worlds she created in the Malory Towers and Naughtiest Girl
series.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This combination of tomfoolery,
midnight feasts and loyal friendships seemed right up my street so obviously I
asked my parents if I could go to boarding school.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Tempted though I’m sure they were, they didn’t pack me off
straightaway but when I was doing my GCSEs they said that if I was serious
about the whole boarding school thing I could go away for my A levels.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A necessary condition was imposed and
achieved when I earned a scholarship for half my fees so off I went at age 16 to
live in a middle-ranking school for my two years of sixth form.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My education up to that point had been entirely within the
state sector and all my ideas about private schools and the people who went to
them were a result of the stereotypes delivered through mainstream media. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I expected plummy accents, sneering attitudes
and a great view of the underside of everyone’s chins as they looked down their
noses at me for being from a comprehensive school.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Rocking up on my first day with a nose stud and a massive
chip on my shoulder it quickly became clear that I was the one with the
attitude problem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I recall I was one
of only a couple of new pupils who’d come from the state sector but as it
turned out, the only person who thought it remotely relevant was me; everyone
else was far more interested in killing time until the parents left so that
they could go and have a smoke behind the pavilion.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Going to boarding school for sixth form meant that I
experienced both worlds at an age where I kind of understood what I was looking
at.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Obviously my experiences are based
on one comprehensive and one boarding school, I’m sure other people in other
places see different things, but here are some of my observations.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Private school is less tribal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s almost like it’s one big tribe, whereas
my comp was much more cliquey.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All the
girls at sixth form wore their beautiful, swishy hair in the same way (a pony
tail not quite pulled through the band – they all looked to me like they’d just
got out of the shower and not sorted their hair out) and the boys all had
Tintin quiffs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Strange brands I’d never
seen before were everywhere and rugby shirts were definitely the order of the
day.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There was a new language to learn; rusticated, gated, prep,
san, exeat, master and the one that caused me the most bother – tab.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It took me a while to realise that it meant
cigarette so for the first day or two I thought everyone had a massive LSD
problem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oops.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>None of the teachers, sorry masters, were called
by their names either; nicknames abounded and learning which could be used to
their faces and which couldn’t was a perilous tightrope that all the new
students had to walk.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Was my education better there?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, my A level results certainly do not
remotely reflect what I now know to be my abilities – but educational success is
not measured solely in terms of exam results. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I learned a pretty big lesson about not prejudging
and living in close and constant proximity with others was a timely
tolerance-building exercise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Without
that school I would never have had the opportunity to sing evensong at St
Paul’s Cathedral and St George’s Chapel at Windsor Castle, I’d probably never
have gone to an opera and going from a school that put on a single production
each year to one that churned them out at rate of more than one a term provided
a wonderful outlet for my dramatic (aka showy-off) tendencies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Students arrived at the school from all over
the world and from a massive range of backgrounds – mixing with this huge range
of people, and their families, gave me a confidence that has stayed with me
into adulthood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(I am also able to
handle larger quantities of alcohol than my size and gender would suggest –
this is very definitely a legacy from my boarding school days.)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This post was going to be bit of a rant, fighting back at
those who lambast private school pupils as though they’ve been handed something
on a plate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t get great A level
results because I didn’t work hard enough; my parents paying half of my fees
didn’t guarantee anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It turned
into a more affectionate reminiscence, which is telling in itself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not the right avenue for everyone, but
for me the combination of educational experiences provided the best and
broadest foundation I could possibly get.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Toodle-pip!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment--></div>
Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15645254612709391871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-997649939299356092.post-84331902729966267742012-08-19T17:22:00.001+01:002012-08-19T19:07:09.613+01:00Ex-Fatty<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW6e9dVUGplwzhKqa31MUm3LPeZWy6DSa5Y4sZjt60nIB3u97L9evg_a2KMuq5u-xdzk1JrJhHq4AxpuYZKiLiyMgkrijObik9oDfcGl53Qxwhz0cb2H0fh78TCgkaFaQoUMW2T66lUgUB/s1600/Us+my+birthday.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW6e9dVUGplwzhKqa31MUm3LPeZWy6DSa5Y4sZjt60nIB3u97L9evg_a2KMuq5u-xdzk1JrJhHq4AxpuYZKiLiyMgkrijObik9oDfcGl53Qxwhz0cb2H0fh78TCgkaFaQoUMW2T66lUgUB/s320/Us+my+birthday.jpg" width="203" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'm the one on the left.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Twelve days after this photograph was taken my apparently
healthy Dad dropped dead one morning at the age of 60.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He swam regularly and hadn’t smoked since a
heart attack almost 25 years previously.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He was, however, obese.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He had
been retired for only a few months and had yet to fulfil any of his retirement
goals.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His two youngest daughters got
married without him to walk them down the aisle and he never met his beautiful
grandchildren.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All because he was fat.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I started university as a size 10-12.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Catered halls, pound-a-pint, take-away and
eventually the comfort of a long term relationship saw me swell to a size 18-20 over
the next 4 years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wish I’d nipped it
in the bud sooner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wish I hadn’t told
myself that ‘you only need a 14 because the fit is tighter in this shop’ – it’s
not, you’re fatter, and before you know it you’ll have to buy a size 14 in
every shop.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You will then go through the
same farcical internal monologue at 16, 18 and 20.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also wish someone had told me that even if
you eventually manage to lose weight your body will never look as good as it
could have – all that skin has to go somewhere, after all.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dad’s death made me realise that I loved life more than I
loved food so I decided to do something about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I started dieting I weighed 15st 5lb;
at 5’6’’ this gave me a BMI of 34.7 and was a serious problem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I got myself to a healthy weight and started
exercising and bugger me if it wasn’t the single best thing I ever did.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I thought I was happy when I was fat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To a certain extent I was, but I now think
back to all the ‘what to wear’ crises, all the sighs in changing rooms as
nothing ever looked quite as good as I wanted it to and all the jealousy I
tried to pretend I didn’t feel for my dearest friends who were slimmer and more
attractive than me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We all know (or are)
people who are obsessed with shoes; I never understood that until I got
fat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Suddenly, shoes were the only
clothing items I could buy that didn’t force me to confront my size; I could
wear anonymous black outfits and feel like I was making an effort with good
shoes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A wonderful shoe wardrobe is
possibly the only good thing to come out of my obesity, sadly I lost a shoe
size when I lost weight and many of my beauties are now too big (heel grippers
stuck in the back rescued a few but bigger-footed friends did well out of my
weight loss).<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A happy fatty or not, I can tell you unreservedly that I am
happier now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is unfathomable to me
that anyone could be happier overweight than they would be at a healthy
weight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Losing weight was a fascinating
journey, with small yet significant milestones cropping up in the most
unexpected places.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember sitting in
the staffroom and going to cross my legs – they stayed where I put them instead
of sliding apart due to my gargantuan thighs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Such a trivial thing yet momentous for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As was the time I was driving down the
motorway and suddenly realised that my elbows were not knocking my waist every
time I turned the wheel but swishing past it instead. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The first time I travelled on an aeroplane
after losing weight and had fresh air between my hips and both armrests, rather
than being wedged in for the duration, was a revelation; going to the cinema
became similarly comfortable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could
walk around my classroom without having to get the kids to squash themselves
into the desks to make room, there was a purpose to working out (what’s the
point in trying to tone your muscles if the thick layer of blubber on top of
them is going to wobble regardless?) and I wasn’t constantly doing that
fat-person thing of readjusting my clothes to make sure that my rolls were
covered.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUUX-9aeu9iftntpCgp3Ev2ih_vtXyTy8HMc8kVesXblWXkZUc-HpiFZHItxdtFG0v43qwhGXMag8ifn1SVYthE_WtaxzDHnpnxcn9KmvKlbVM9x6pmXWXroAk9oZ98VQUirRtCk6eR0PR/s1600/411515_3366163606853_1622646213_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUUX-9aeu9iftntpCgp3Ev2ih_vtXyTy8HMc8kVesXblWXkZUc-HpiFZHItxdtFG0v43qwhGXMag8ifn1SVYthE_WtaxzDHnpnxcn9KmvKlbVM9x6pmXWXroAk9oZ98VQUirRtCk6eR0PR/s320/411515_3366163606853_1622646213_o.jpg" width="201" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Thanks to Peter Worth - www.peterworth.com</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Losing weight is hard and the battle to keep it off is
unending (and not always won), but the rewards are undoubtedly worth it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To actually feel good when I get dressed up
nicely, instead of just not feeling awful; to know that no one is judging me
for my size; to feel in control of my own body; to feel strong and confident;
to feel the pride in shedding almost 5 stone; to receive the compliments for
this; to know that I stand a greater chance of living long enough to fulfil my
dreams and spend more time with the people I love – who wouldn’t want
this?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There’s always an excuse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s just an excuse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stop making excuses. Eat less, do more, reap the rewards.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15645254612709391871noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-997649939299356092.post-72572956406459772352012-08-08T22:01:00.001+01:002012-08-08T22:01:41.788+01:0035<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Landmark birthdays have come and gone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As an August baby my 18<sup>th</sup> birthday
was something of an anti-climax, having celebrated about a hundred others and
gone through the far more significant event of leaving school by the time it
rolled around.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>21 came and went during
my summer holidays from university and my 30<sup>th</sup> was spent alone in
Morocco.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Reflection didn’t play a part
in any of these ‘milestones’, however as I turn 35 I find myself taking stock.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
According to the Telegraph newspaper, middle age begins at
35.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ouch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Middle age is all about sprawling paunches,
HRT and gardening, right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">my </i>middle
age.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am the fittest, slimmest and strongest that I’ve ever
been, putting me in the absolute best physical shape of my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can climb mountains, skate marathons and
feel no trepidation at taking on fit students two decades younger than me in
physical challenges.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Spartan Sprint
on Sunday will be challenging, sure, but not insurmountable – 10 years ago I
wouldn’t even have considered entering.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s not all physical joy; recovery takes longer as the years go by and
gravity is an unrelenting enemy, but the mental strength that I’ve developed as
I’ve aged is more than a match for the physical changes.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My career started on a high – my first job involved an
element of management responsibility and consequent pay – and I doggedly and fairly
successfully chased promotions for several years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember being about 26 and wondering how
I’d cope with the crushing disappointment of abject failure if I was still on
the same rung of the ladder at 30.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well
I’m now 35 and technically lower than ever, having made a conscious decision to
eschew management in the pursuit of happiness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This was the right decision.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Growing older has helped me to discover what fulfils me and it turns out
that an impressive job title with commensurate stress is not it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For me, doing my job well and having enough
energy left over to really enjoy the time and money it provides me with means I
am on the way to a fulfilled life, rather than just a fulfilling career.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am professionally respected and my opinion
is sought and valued – that’s enough for me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
An ever-developing self-knowledge means that I have a fairly
good idea what I want and don’t want.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s only when I look back that I see how influenced I was by those
around me when I was younger; I don’t think that’s a problem, I think it’s how
we explore and discover, but I like that nowadays I am confident enough to be
my own person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I want to swim against
the tide then I bloomin’ well will.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
freedom that comes with not feeling the need to ‘fit in’ is a joyous one that
only comes with time.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So as I enter ‘middle age’, how do I feel about it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pretty good, actually.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can drink until I fall over with 20 year olds
one night, discuss my clicky knees with equally middle aged friends the next
before enjoying a fiery debate with those 30 years my senior later on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s the best of everything, the middle of
everything; by definition the place from which one can see the most, making it
the age at which the bigger picture is most clear and all things are equally
accessible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bring it on!<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15645254612709391871noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-997649939299356092.post-86117717257702171232012-08-05T17:23:00.000+01:002012-08-05T17:23:11.653+01:00Summer Adviser<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have observed that fascinating species ‘British Woman’
dealing with the sunshine recently, both in her native Britain and as she
migrates south to Spain, and after hours gathering data I feel compelled to
offer the following.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Sunshine may lift
your spirits but it does not do the same for your breasts<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I spent many hours people-watching at the British seaside on
a scorching day and I can categorically state that the only people who should
wear strapless outfits are bridesmaids and supermodels.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I understand the desire to avoid tan lines
(this blog is too short to venture into the clear illogicality therefore of
teaming a normal bra with a strapless top) but the judicious use of SPF50 or a
cotton wrap does the job in a much less dangly fashion than going braless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Likewise, there are underwear solutions available for every
type of vest – only the very young or the very flat-chested should ever leave
the house sans brassiere.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No one wants
to see middle-aged melons drifting about, midriff bound, nipples skewiff as
they pendulously lumber from side to side.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>If tempted to embrace ‘commando torso’, first ask yourself ‘if I were a
fembot, where would my lasers be pointing?’<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>If you are simply scoring a path in the pavement a couple of metres in
front of your feet – strap those puppies up.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Sun burns<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This does not mean, however, that you have to allow yourself
to be burned by it.<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></b>Falling trees crush, but when the cry of
‘TIMBEEEERRRR’ alerts you to the potential danger, you run.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why would anyone want to look like a barber’s
pole, red and white stripes recalling an embarrassed zebra?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sunburn is dangerous, uncomfortable and
unsightly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For some reason, many treat
it as something of an inevitability, despite the links between sunburn and skin
cancer being pretty clearly established; seeing sunburned people continuing to
expose themselves is, to my eyes, the beach version of the hospital patient
wheeling their drip outside so they can have a cigarette.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Magazines lie<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When they say you can ‘drop two dress sizes in two weeks’ or
‘get bikini ready in a month’ they are probably telling the truth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, YOU won’t do it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>YOU will cheat and make excuses and start
tomorrow; even if you do succeed in streamlining yourself you’ll have put it
all back on by the end of your holiday, and probably added a bit more too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With that self-knowledge, buy your holiday
wardrobe in the size you are, not the size you want to be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Clothes that fit look better than those that
don’t – particularly if you are one of the many women who insist on jettisoning
your smalls at the first sign of sunshine.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you don’t believe me; believe Baz Luhrmann - <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ7AzBIJoI" target="_blank">Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)</a></o:p></b></div>
</div>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15645254612709391871noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-997649939299356092.post-69170787348183243092012-07-25T19:22:00.004+01:002012-07-25T19:22:44.335+01:00Crushing<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
My first proper crush was Ben.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was tall, dark and impossibly handsome
with a smile that could melt brick.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
was 11, acutely aware of being neither cool nor hot, with a dodgy perm and a
Philip Schofield fixation; I didn’t stand a chance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That didn’t stop me daydreaming about him constantly,
of course, and ‘accidentally’ ending up in the same place as him at break time
every day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unattainability is the soil
in which crushes are nurtured, so with ample supplies of the fertiliser of
unrequited love, this one grew and grew.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t remember how I moved on, but move on I did, into
that strange teenage netherworld of ‘going out’ with ‘boyfriends’ which
involved neither going out nor being friends and often lasted only a matter of
hours – beginning with ‘my mate fancies you’ and ending with ‘my mate says
you’re dumped’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s entirely possible
there were boyfriends with whom I never shared so much as a glance as the
relationship was conducted entirely through third parties.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe this technique is worth revisiting?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At 14 I met Mark.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
was older, cooler and gorgeous.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
played the guitar and had long hair and brown eyes like pools of delicious
chocolate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thought he was some kind of
god, which was irrelevant because he didn’t care what anyone thought of
him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although our relationship lasted over
a year it is only with hindsight that I see it falls into ‘crush’ territory; my
feelings were pretty much one way and to this day I have no real idea why he
was with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Though we spent every spare moment at school walking around in circles and holding hands, he went to
parties without me, to gigs without me, even out with other girls without me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was so blinded by the force of my crush and
so pathetically grateful for the morsels of attention he threw my way that I
convinced myself he loved me and accepted ‘us’ the way we were – the
unattainability factor being still strong, even though we were together.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Richard entered my life when I was 20.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was worldly, employed and incredibly
good-looking; I was smitten – what chance did I stand with such a catch?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The unattainability factor was high with this
one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Somehow, I wore him down and we were
married 5 years later.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>9 years down the
line and, sadly, we are getting divorced.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s almost as though my crush retreated exactly as he became more
permanent.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Now, as a 34 year old single woman, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">everyone </i>seems out of my league and therefore my crushing has
gotten completely out of control.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
build imaginary futures in my head with virtual strangers and obsess over
unravelling the hidden messages behind every nuanced look or comment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ironically, I am perfectly happy being single
– it’s not like I’m some desperado, hunting for my next husband – so the
completeness with which this man-fixation has overwhelmed me is nonsensical and
unwelcome.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So what’s the answer?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Who knows?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think crushes are
the emotional equivalent of the common cold – everyone gets them in varying
degrees of intensity and there is no known cure, they just ease off slowly and suddenly
you realise they’re gone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the
meantime, I need to discover the emotional equivalent of Lemsip; I think the
Olympics and the plethora of half-naked demi-gods might just do it. If anyone wants me for the next few weeks, I'll be watching TV...<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment--></div>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15645254612709391871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-997649939299356092.post-69553187543496774482012-06-16T18:21:00.000+01:002012-06-16T18:21:29.932+01:00Honest<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
People often tell me how refreshing it is to meet someone
who ‘tells it like it is’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whilst I
greet any compliment with the undignified gratitude of a puppy getting a
biscuit, I don’t really understand this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I don’t consider myself blunt, I consider myself honest. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Clearly sometimes it is best to say nothing, and on these
occasions I like to think I can do the socially acceptable thing and stay
schtum.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’ll never know if I hate your
outfit, or if I think your stew’s got too much salt in it; I’m pretty good at
finding something genuine to compliment so rarely need to lie to fulfil a
social expectation. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This commitment to honesty has many benefits.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I actually notice much more about people and
places; instead of my brain seeing ‘striking trousers’ and automatically
telling my mouth to say, “I love your trousers,” if my brain finds said
trousers unpleasant it instead instructs my eyes to have a better look.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I then compliment earrings / eyeshadow /
bag, not only does the recipient feel like someone’s actually properly noticed
them (as opposed to being dazzled by their new trousers) but I am a more aware
and active participant in the world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Anyone who knows me knows that anything I say to them comes
from the heart – I am terrible at small talk because it often feels like a big,
fat lie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I ask you how you are, it’s
because I actually care.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I ask you
what you do, it’s because I’m really curious.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>If I’m not interested in the answer, for whatever reason, I just won’t
ask the question.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t consider this
to be rude – arguably it is significantly better than unthinkingly parroting
whatever pleasantry is expected in any given situation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course a downside of this is that I often
make the mistake of thinking that other people think like this too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On occasion I have to remind myself that X’s
friend doesn’t really care about the answer to whatever question he’s just
asked, he’s just doing the social dance and in answering him I become rather
boring.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know I can be blunt; it has often been said that I say
what everyone else is thinking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, if
everyone else is thinking it, why is no one else saying it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Several reasons, actually.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When people first meet me, they often aren’t
sure how to take me; I can seem bolshy and over-confident and this is
off-putting for many (I like to pretend I don’t care about this, but sometimes
I want to plead with people to stick with me long enough to realise there is
more to me than comedic outspokenness).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It can be intimidating to be around someone who isn’t fully ‘playing the
game’ socially – this can make others uncomfortable as the rules of engagement
seem not to apply (for the record, it is never my intention to make other
people feel uncomfortable and if I realise that it’s happening I will try to
take steps to remedy the situation). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ignorance is bliss.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Social norms exist so that people can enjoy
themselves without encountering unexpected obstacles or having to confront
difficult truths.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When someone even
slightly doesn’t conform to these it is discomfiting; how do you deal with
someone who speaks the unspeakable when secretly you agree with them?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can’t disagree because your inbuilt sense
of correctness won’t let you lie, but you can’t agree for fear of being tarred
with the same brush as this brash interloper.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Tricky.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My suggestion – next time you’re in conversation with
someone you don’t know very well, try to be interested.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s all there is to it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If that’s impossible (and sometimes it seems
that it is) then move on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is a
finite number of people you can meet in your life; notice the earrings.<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment--></div>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15645254612709391871noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-997649939299356092.post-26271812121866178262012-06-10T20:18:00.000+01:002012-06-10T20:18:01.803+01:00Free<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
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I have recently come in to some freedom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whilst this is something I have been seeking
for a while, I am now a little bewildered by the variety of ways I can use
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In an attempt to find clarity and
direction I am going to try to weigh up the pros and cons of some of my options.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Maintain Status Quo<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Pros<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l4 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->I have a cute house which I rent, so I am not tied
down and my landlord’s ace.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l4 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->The Lincolnshire Bombers Roller Girls.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l4 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->I have a secure job which I’m good at and I
like.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l4 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->I could take some time to learn some more stuff;
quite fancy getting a physics degree, starting piano lessons again or learning
vehicle maintenance.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cons<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->The crushing sense of disappointment at not
doing something fabulous (unless I get that physics degree).<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Relocate Down South<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Pros<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Closer to sisters and their families.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Warmer.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Could get a job quite easily.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cons<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Would have to live in a shoebox.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Plus the cons of previous option.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Seek Teaching Job
Abroad<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Pros<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l5 level1 lfo4; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Could probably get one fairly easily.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l5 level1 lfo4; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Get to live abroad for a couple of years with a
decent income – security and a base for travel.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l5 level1 lfo4; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Get it out of my system.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cons<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo5; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Couldn’t do it until next September (that’s not
necessarily a problem, though I’ll be the wrong side of 35 by then, which’d
make me a bit of an oddity, I think).<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo5; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Faffy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(This
is a spectacularly lame thing to include as a con, but I don’t like paperwork.)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Take a Sabbatical
(assuming I could get work to agree – there’s no precedent, but I can be fairly
persuasive)<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Pros<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l3 level1 lfo6; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Job to go back to.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l3 level1 lfo6; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Loads of options; travel, write, travel, study,
write, travel.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cons<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l6 level1 lfo7; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Would have to go back to work for at least a
year after a year off, meaning whatever I did would have to stop (probably)
after a year.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l6 level1 lfo7; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Too many choices!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do I stay here and write and study?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do I travel?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Where to go?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What to do?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Voluntary work?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Proper vagabonding?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Eeeeek – this option doesn’t narrow down my
decisions at all!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l6 level1 lfo7; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Would finish the experience with absolutely no
savings, no house and no plan, which would be pretty scary.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
OK, that process didn’t help at all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Total freedom is not freeing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t help feeling I’m missing something –
either pros or cons of any of these options, or indeed another option
altogether.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think a lifetime of having ‘things to consider’
(mortgages, careers, husbands etc.) has conditioned my brain not to think too
big.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Retraining it to understand that
anything is possible is harder than it sounds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>How do I undo this?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How do I make
my mind realise that now is the time to live the dream?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is that even possible when the dream has
become so buried by the reality of my life that I can’t even clearly see what
the dream is any more?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At a time when the world should be my oyster, I can’t help
feeling it’s more like fugu.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Suggestions?<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment--></div>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15645254612709391871noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-997649939299356092.post-85489785160564095412012-05-20T17:20:00.001+01:002012-05-20T17:20:38.357+01:00Traveller<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Some of the things
I’ve learned from travelling…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">1.<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';">
</span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">People are generally good<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto;">
I have been helped along the
way by many total strangers; the trainee priests in Jerusalem who saved me from
being lost in a tiny, half-kilometre long tunnel without a light, the man in
Marrakesh who took me in a taxi to my hotel because it was my birthday and I
couldn’t figure out which bus to get on and the ladies in Muscat who organised
and gave me a lift to one of the most bonkers massages I’ve ever had are just a
handful of examples. I met the priests
randomly in a valley, the Moroccan chap was wandering down the street and the
Omani ladies were in a nail salon – none of these people had an ulterior
motive, they were just kind.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIsx7WiVSljS8QyM6-AUIKI7nMl-oUu8Dc5aFzjKGs-VK2_LpJlpQPq402XSMOM1oK8_bICzRi8ALOiIfBoTHcRtD8obbjpFu7EXFmVuQIRB6wUrDmaA2HrdJJlrjQKp_gqJebodaZ42Ia/s1600/IMG_4089.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIsx7WiVSljS8QyM6-AUIKI7nMl-oUu8Dc5aFzjKGs-VK2_LpJlpQPq402XSMOM1oK8_bICzRi8ALOiIfBoTHcRtD8obbjpFu7EXFmVuQIRB6wUrDmaA2HrdJJlrjQKp_gqJebodaZ42Ia/s320/IMG_4089.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ema - one of the kindest people I've ever met</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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I try to remember these experiences when
I’m being surrounded by news stories about how society is becoming more violent
or the world is full of predators. Sure,
I’ve been ripped off, hassled and groped on my travels, but usually by
opportunists taking advantage; the times I’ve been helped have generally
required the kind-hearted strangers to put themselves out to act altruistically
for me. On balance, I’d say the good
guys win.</div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">2.<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';">
</span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The world is beautiful and surprising –
you just have to see it<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Some people think that you
need to travel to ‘exotic’ places to see stunning sights, but the art of
mindful travelling is noticing the unexpected and unusual rather than treating
a trip as a series of photo opportunities.
I remember one guide who kept asking my friend and I if we wanted to take
pictures; he knew that we both love photography and the challenge of capturing
the essence of a place through a lens (she’s particularly good – check out <a href="http://www.7milesbelow.blogspot.com/">www.7milesbelow.blogspot.com</a>) but
we also both understand that to really <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">see</i>
a place you have to step back and give the subject your whole concentration,
not dilute that experience by worrying about your camera and whether you’ve got
the focus right. The guide could not
understand why we kept responding in the negative and just looking around us,
only to whip our cameras out at something that he thought was unremarkable. <o:p></o:p><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6uFttbQ8asgwW_y78HXLwLXsipUPZWDX9pMYPhR1PgxB6wca6aWWykq99n3M9KpaoZQboYQczHrtnIzOj2JuBlN4I5bgXmcsz2NcIdWGrtcZevd5SW8tqBClY_MvTiUWM8VfgiZzXKCd-/s1600/IMG_3489.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6uFttbQ8asgwW_y78HXLwLXsipUPZWDX9pMYPhR1PgxB6wca6aWWykq99n3M9KpaoZQboYQczHrtnIzOj2JuBlN4I5bgXmcsz2NcIdWGrtcZevd5SW8tqBClY_MvTiUWM8VfgiZzXKCd-/s320/IMG_3489.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
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<br /><br />
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<br /><br />
<br />
I can buy a postcard or a guidebook to
see the standard view of a place – the world doesn’t need another snap of
Niagara Falls, for example – the real joy is in going past that and spotting
the little things that others may miss.
It’s like the difference between seeing the personality someone puts on
at a party and getting to know the complex human being behind the jolly
front. You can never really claim to
‘know’ someone you’ve only met at functions – you have to share their joys and
pains before you establish any kind of meaningful relationship.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">3.<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';">
</span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Travelling
the world really is the best way to learn about it<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
Bullet holes in a wall, a body on
a funeral pyre, lions and elephants in a standoff in the savannah, women bent
double picking tea, men mining for sapphires in a world untouched by health and
safety considerations, children truly grateful for an education, war cemeteries
with gravestones stretching as far as the eye can see, people feeding monkeys
at the temple, the sheer size of a mountain, waterfall or desert – that these
things exist is not news. Seeing them in
real life, however, lends them an immediacy and importance that cannot be grasped
from a book or television programme, no matter how well made. As a classroom, our planet has no competitor.<o:p></o:p><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">4.<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';">
</span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">‘Exotic’
or ‘adventurous’ are not determined by location but by mindset<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto;">
Seeing
travel as a geographical journey, ticking off the countries and the sights
along the way, leads to a fairly generic experience. Enriching that physical journey by seeking
personal and mental progress too ensures an individual and memorable trip with
often intangible lasting consequences.
You don’t have to have your vaccines up to date or endure days of
bum-numbing transport to ‘travel’, you just need to allow your mind to wander.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
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<br /></div>
</div>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15645254612709391871noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-997649939299356092.post-37224729609352752272012-05-13T17:25:00.000+01:002012-05-13T17:25:37.027+01:00Empathetic<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">I was recently
on the receiving end of some quite bizarre behaviour.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I met a woman who took a dislike to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This happens; we can’t all like everyone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was not her dislike of me that was
bizarre – it’s her right to decide I’m not her kind of person – it was the
way it manifested itself that was so strange, coming from a grown woman.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">At various
times during the period we spent together she kicked me, planted herself
between me and a person I was chatting with, ostentatiously turning her back to
me while I was talking and beginning her own conversation with my friend and
generally either engaged in embarrassing episodes of one-upmanship or pointedly
ignored me at any time we were both involved in a group conversation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">Luckily, I am a
fairly thick-skinned person and get on with the vast majority of people I
meet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am well travelled and have made
friends all over the planet in the 34 years that I’ve been on it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This experience affords me the inner strength
to tell myself that the problem in this situation was with her and not me; it
was still pretty hurtful, but I have the fortitude of adulthood which enabled
me to not let it ruin my day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">As a teacher, I
often have to deal with the consequences of young people being picked on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Amongst other things, this involves
reiterating the standard messages that we all heard when we were younger: “they’re
not worth it,” “don’t let them see that they’ve upset you,” “the bullies are
the weak ones,” etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I was attempting
to let her hateful attitude be like water off my duck-like back I was acutely
aware that my 15 year old self would not have had the strength of character to
be quite so unruffled by the experience.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>For the first time in years of working with young people I got a real,
visceral sense of how damaging this kind of seemingly fairly innocuous
behaviour could be if directed at an averagely fragile teen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sadly, this insight didn’t extend to
something useful I could say to a young person experiencing similar treatment,
but it has definitely made me appreciate the supportive role that I can play
for someone who is being picked on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Platitudes won’t hurt but they won’t particularly help either; what is
more practical is to try to counter the damage caused by this type of grinding
negativity by helping the recipients (I hesitate to use the word ‘victims’ as I
think it can perpetuate the feelings of inadequacy) learn to have confidence in
themselves as worthwhile people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The way
to achieve that is different for every child – part of the skill of the
professional is to try to find the right method for each individual.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">Travel extends
and challenges us in unforeseen ways sometimes; it is ironic that the net
outcome of this woman’s poor behaviour will actually be positive as I am now better
able to support my students as they deal with the crap that life throws at them
than I was before experiencing her childishness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For that, my students, my students yet to
come and I thank her very much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment--></div>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15645254612709391871noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-997649939299356092.post-62792930198237141512012-05-04T20:43:00.000+01:002012-05-04T20:43:51.554+01:00Educator<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">I became a teacher because there’s not much else you
can do with a degree in Theology and Religious Studies and because I like
holidays.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remain a teacher because it
turns out that helping young people to discover and make sense of the world
around them is one of life’s greatest pleasures.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">I am fond of pointing out to my students that I don’t
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more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do it because I think it’s
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blindly accept the status quo.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do it
because some children do not get taught how to be polite, respectful and
sociable at home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do it because it
matters.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">Ten years ago, when I first encountered an OFSTED
inspector, I naively followed the advice I was given not to plan anything
special and taught the lesson that I had planned before I knew that we were
being inspected.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This happened to be a
full lesson of silent assessment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was
graded as ‘outstanding’ because the inspector was allowed to use his
professional judgement; he saw the relationship I had with my class in the way
they approached and followed the strict rules of my classroom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He saw my lesson plans and spoke to the students
and was satisfied that for me to deliver anything other than the planned hour
of silence would be to undermine the carefully thought out programme of
learning that I had provided for the students.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He checked their books and saw evidence of learning, teaching, marking
and progress.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He spoke with them and had
no doubt that they had been well taught.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Both he and I were trusted as professionals to put the students’
interests before the box-ticking.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">Now, upon inspection, I am expected to be able to
provide hard evidence of progress every twenty minutes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I should ensure that I have included elements
of ECM, PLTS, AfL and VAK (of course, these acronyms are subject to the whims
of those in power and will undoubtedly change – of the four, only VAK was
around when I trained, and ICTAC has come and gone in the meantime).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>60 alphanumeric levels (current and target
for each student) should be on the tip of my tongue every hour and every
student should be doing something which is clearly productive at every moment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The lesson I taught ten years ago would now
be ‘poor’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What this means in practice
is that given the same set of circumstances, my students would arrive at their
lesson prepared for an assessment and instead be surprised by a show
lesson.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ll play the game.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ll get my ‘outstanding’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who has benefited?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The students’ learning has been disrupted and
neither I nor the inspector has been trusted to exercise the slightest bit of
professional judgement.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">Three weeks ago I was in Nepal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whilst I was there I had the pleasure and the
privilege of spending a few days at a school in Kathmandu and working with them
to modernise their curriculum and pedagogical approach.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Freed from the shackles of an inspection regime
designed to produce figures which can be spun by the ruling party to ‘prove’
their success at educating the nation, we were able to make fundamental changes
which would profoundly alter the learning experience of the students for the
better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were able to use our combined
and varied experience to find solutions to contextual problems and implement
them without having to justify ourselves; it was enough for us all to know that
we had the students’ best interests at heart.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">The whole experience was inspirational for me; the
opportunity to be an educator, rather than an acronym-fulfiller was motivating
and rewarding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My relationship with the
school in Kathmandu is ongoing and their students and mine continue to
benefit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’d find it hard to provide
evidence for this that would satisfy the current OFSTED regime because the
delight on my students’ faces when I showed them photos of Nepali children
enjoying their work and the enthusiasm with which the Nepali teachers embraced
our relationship can’t be quantified on a tick sheet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This saddens me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">I became a teacher because there’s not much else you
can do with a degree in Theology and Religious Studies and because I like
holidays.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remain a teacher despite the
bureaucracy.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment--></div>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15645254612709391871noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-997649939299356092.post-56986298461791973392012-04-28T18:14:00.002+01:002012-04-28T18:14:28.534+01:00Unhappy Camper<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
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Two thin layers of nylon separate me from a cold, wet and
windy Lincolnshire night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The walls are
flapping like sails, and the rhythmic snoring of my neighbour mingles with the
shrill sound of excited teenagers to ensure that I will get little sleep
tonight.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I have never understood the intrinsic appeal of
camping.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a means to have unique
experiences I can see that it has a place – canvas affords an experience of the
Serengeti, for example, that cannot be replicated – but where there is a
solid-walled, viable alternative I don’t understand why anyone would choose to
sleep in a tent.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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There is nothing enjoyable about having to build and furnish
your house every day and dismantle it each morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Getting dressed and undressed lying down,
trying to work out whether turning the torch on will afford all your neighbours
a silhouetted peep show, the total lack of privacy and having to carry towel
and toiletries across a boggy field in order to perform basic ablutions; these
inconveniences are wiped out in a single stroke by staying at even the most
basic of guest houses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I understand the
appeal of being ‘in nature’ but I can get that from a day out walking and a
night in a suitably remote inn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A
strategy which of course has one other clear advantage – you’re in an inn.<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">So as I lay here shivering, cursing the stinginess of
my employer for not shelling out for one of the static caravans in the next
field, I wonder how to make this experience more civilized.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A raised bed, duvet and pillow would be a
good start, and the bacon and eggs I’m planning for the morning will ease some
of the pain caused by this inch thick mattress (apparently specially designed
for women – not sure how, it didn’t come with chocolate or wine) but really the
only thing that would make me smile right now would be four solid walls, a roof
that didn’t move and some heating.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Failing that, earplugs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
wine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And chocolate.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment--></div>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15645254612709391871noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-997649939299356092.post-52758570260823857172012-04-13T12:33:00.000+01:002012-04-13T12:33:06.666+01:00Back!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">The breakdown of a marriage, the conquering of a mountain (well, base camp, anyway) and the general sorting through life's shit will take a girl away from her blog. Well, I'm back!<br />
<br />
Currently in Kathmandu with all sorts of things buzzing around in my mind to tell you about; Everest Base Camp and Kala Pattar, developing countries in general, singledom, bitchiness, the strangely limiting effect of unlimited freedom...<br />
<br />
</div>Karenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15645254612709391871noreply@blogger.com0